5.08.2009

Oh, snap! "Yo Mama" jokes for Mother's Day.

From McSweeney's Internet Tendency. I love you, Mom!

RESPECTFUL
YO MAMA
JOKES.

by Lucas Klauss

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Yo mama is so healthy her BMI is probably exactly within the ideal range for a woman her age.

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Yo mama is so well respected within her profession that I bet she'll get another raise and promotion this year despite the downward trajectory of the economy.

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Yo mama is so good at cooking she should open her own restaurant. I'd be the first customer.

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Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

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Yo mama is so Internet-savvy she should start her own social-networking site designed specifically for moms. It would be really popular.

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Yo mama is so well read she could teach a course on literature at an accredited university.

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Yo mama is so good at listening she makes you feel like she's put everything aside to focus all her attention on you. That's a really great trait to have.

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Yo mama is so skilled at coaching basketball she should apply for a job in the WNBA.

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Yo mama is so generous she just paid for everyone's meal at Applebee's.

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Yo mama is so supportive of you and your efforts that I wouldn't be surprised if you were incredibly successful as a result.

5.06.2009

Do not want.

I saw this interesting little item on the internet today:That's right, eyeglasses piercing. They’re made by the Pierced Glasses company, if you’re looking to get a pair for yourself. I'm going to pass.

I like eyeglasses. They are the only acceptable accessory for your face in my opinion (apologies to all my lip, brow and nose pierced friends). I typically wear my contacts, but on days when I want to give my peepers a rest I pop on the specs.

Another reason I enjoy those days is I tend to get a lot of comparisons to Clark Kent. It makes me wonder why on most days I'm not mistaken for Superman, but I guess therein lies the genius of the subtle disguise.
My secret is safe for another day.

5.04.2009

Oh Baby!

The summers where we had a wedding/wedding shower every weekend have officially ended and we have moved on to the baby phase! No news from my womb but pretty much every single one of our friends is expecting or have just had a baby. It is so much fun seeing our friends become mommies and daddies. As I write our friends Tim and Christy (mainly Christy) are in labor and are having a baby boy who we can't wait to meet.

We got to meet sweet Sadie Kay on Friday night. Rob and Kay had her on April 24th and she has the most hair I have ever seen on a baby...good thing her mama does hair! She was so fun to snuggle with and we are so happy for them.

5.02.2009

New favorite show.


Deadliest Warrior
, the ridiculously masculine series on Spike, just earned a spot on my DVR roster. Here's the description from Spike's website:

Each week on Deadliest Warrior, a new episode will pit two of the most feared warriors civilization has ever known against each other. Along with the use of 21st century science and the latest in CGI technology, each episode enlists warrior-specific world-class fighters and experts to provide insight into what makes these combatants tick, analyzing every facet of their unique skills of destruction, culminating in a head-to-head final fight between two legends of the battlefield that will produce the deadliest warrior.
Like I said, ridiculously masculine, basically a show for meat-heads, but I love the premise. I myself have had these type of questions/discussions/arguments with friends (when I was 12 years old, mind you, but as a matter of fact, one review actually reads, "If you love non-self-aware comedy or are a 12-year-old boy, stay tuned..."). These hypothetical scenarios make for good TV, and taking it a step further, great stories since most comic books and movie scripts are written based on these setups. Who would win a fight? Superman or the Incredible Hulk? Abe Lincoln or Ghandi?

Most of the time, the results of these match-ups are determined by the personal preferences of the writer. For example: Superman over the Hulk; Honest Abe over Ghandi (he's a pacifist for cryin' out loud). What Deadliest Warrior does is add a little objectivity to the process. Breaking down the weapons and then running all the determining factors through a program that simulates a 1,000 battles.

Other highly-anticipated showdowns this season include: Pirate vs. Knight, Viking vs. Samurai, Green Beret vs. Spetznaz, Maori vs. Shaolin Monks, William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu, and Ninja vs. Spartan. Superman vs. Lincoln must be next season.

Incidentally, I am aware that this blog is quickly becoming the dorkiest thing on the Internet. I apologize. Actually, I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. This is my geek-outlet. And Leeanne doesn't post anymore, so it is what it is - all "He Said."

Winner: Supes

5.01.2009

Nerd alert.

I first read J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings in college. From that point on I was hooked on all things Middle Earth. I would joke with Leeanne when we were engaged (and even yesterday when we were talking with some friends about wedding rings) that I wanted the "one ring" as my wedding band. It was that or a Batman ring, both of which unbelievably are available in the Skymall catalog, here and here. Pick one up for yourself next time you fly. Then when the movies came out, I, along with countless others (except for, inexcusably, my brother-in-law Jeff), became super-geeks upon seeing the universe Tolkien created faithfully given cinematic life. I love those movies, and while they are long, I'll watch them every time I come across them on TNT or AMC (same goes for Braveheart or Godfather II). Also, even though watching the entire trilogy would take a solid nine hours or so (not even including the indispensable bonus features) it takes considerable less time than reading the books - that takes true commitment, easy readers.

While all of the LOTR fans are waiting for the next movie to add to the collection - The Hobbit, split into two separate films, produced by Peter Jackson and directed by Guillermo Del Toro - in the meantime, here's something fun.

A group of "incredibly proactive dork- er, Lord of the Rings enthusiasts," recently shot a 40-minute, high-definition film in North Wales with an all-volunteer crew of 150. On Sunday, May 3rd, it will be released, online and free, at TheHuntForGollum.com. Check out the trailer below. Cheesy? Undoubtedly. Legal? Uncertain. Awesome? Undeniably.
Does it make you wonder how many of these dudes live in a basement and showed up to the audition already in full costumes their mothers made? Indubitably. And it's that kind of commitment I want out of film-making fans if I'm going to sit down on my couch and waste my time watching something for free.

THE HUNT FOR GOLLUM - FULL Trailer 1 from Independent Online Cinema on Vimeo.

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